Pacific Index

Students respond to the case of the missing UC supplies

“I need to. I have no other options unless I want to eat with my hands,” comments an anonymous source.

Lately, there’s been an uptick in utensil thievery at Pacific University. These heinous crimes have become such a bother that “Have You Seen Me?” posters depicting the misplaced spoons, forks, plates, and bowls, are already being put up around the UC. So, who, exactly, could be hoarding thousands of dollars worth of supplies? Are people just being lazy and throwing the utensils into the garbage, or could there be more to the story?

“I pay three-thousand dollars for this,” a student, who wishes to remain anonymous, tells me. A full meal plan at Pacific costs, per semester, $3,696, This includes enough meal swipes to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner on weekdays and weekends. “They are not offering any plastic silverware… for people who have paid for the plastic to-go boxes.” These to-go boxes cost ten dollars for the entirety of the year, and to put food in them? You have to use a meal swipe at the counter. “If you’re going to offer a to-go service, but not utensils for that to-go service– you’re kinda just shooting yourself in the foot.” 

Although I brought up that yes, the Pacific Market does supply plastic silverware, they shook their head, “When they do have [plastic silverware] they’re gone, there’s like two of them. The concern here isn’t that there isn’t a supply of plastic forks, or free forks for that matter, it seems to be the abundance of hungry students versus the amount of plastic silverware in the small market. With that, it also seems that the urge to slip a fork or spoon into your to-go box is a widely popular urge. This is especially among students already facing financial difficulties surrounding tuition and meal plans. 

“That fork is part of my tuition,” they laugh, because when it comes down to it, that small act of rebellion brings a lot of euphoria to students who already can’t afford groceries, but are required to pay for a meal plan. “I have to go off-campus, I have classes, I have practice, I have work,” they reiterate to me their busy schedule, and the need to have meals in order to fuel their day. “Three thousand dollars, and you can’t even get a normal fork?” Another student pleads. Being a broke college student doesn’t give you the right to steal, but doesn’t it give you the right to enjoy lunch outside of the cafeteria?

So who is The Silverware Bandit? It’s a lot of people. Mostly busy students, who are already running late to practice and have no time to walk to a secondary location for a plastic spoon or fork. If the UC added plastic forks next to the metal ones, maybe these hungry students wouldn’t have such sticky fingers? Or maybe they would, willing to be kleptomaniacs in order to stay sane during the cold months. But if UC supplies keep going missing, having to replace these items increases costs to everyone who relies on the UC for their daily meals. The bandit still decrees, “Unless they want to put plastic forks out, it’s my fork now.”