Boersma apologizes for lack of everything

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It’s happening, folks. Professor Dave Boersma has finally come clean and admitted fault.

After apologizing for the Center for Peace and Spirituality’s lack of recognition for all belief systems around campus last holiday season, Boersma said the pressure was on.

“I know it’s my fault,” said Boersma. “The horrid art buildings on campus, the questionable water quality in Clark Hall, the need for triple rooms in Walter Hall. All of it.”

But Boersma was not done apologizing yet.

“I’m truly sorry that the electric car chargers have wasted two parking spaces near campus,” continued Boersma. “And I can’t believe I allowed the water damage in Vandervelden Court from those busted pipes.”

Most importantly, Boermsa said, he wanted to take personal responsibility because his “cigar smoke is definitely the cause of this horrible, overcast sky.”


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