Goboxers website gets revamped
The Boxer athletics website has been completely revamped. goboxers.com launched March 16 with a whole new look. “The new design is very fresh, edgy and makes great use of our vast library of action photos for every sport,” said Sports … Continued
Bed bug infestation in res hall becomes too much: administrators decide to burn down Walter
With an unrelenting stream of continuing bed bug outbreaks, Pacific’s administrative officials have decided they are left with no other choice: it’s time to burn down Walter Hall. Residents are advised to abandon all their personal belongings, as they are … Continued
Quidditch makes its debut at Pacific University
Chasing after golden snitches while dodging bludgers and scoring with quaffels; if Harry Potter can do it, why can’t everyone else? Now Pacific students will have that opportunity as quidditch is slated to be the next intramural sport at Pacific … Continued
ABG speaks to the Index!
After 20-plus years of silence and “no-comment,” psychology professor Alyson Burns-Glover spoke to The Pacific Index. As Index journalist Hailey Hawkins walked through a crowded hallway, Burns-Glover is reported to have bumped into the her and uttered, “excuse me.” The … Continued
Deke Gundersen discovered to be the Lorax
An oak tree was recently chopped down on Marsh Lawn as part of the preparations to make room for the university’s new science complex. Out of the stump popped biology professor Deke Gundersen. Clad with a bushy head of hair … Continued
Celebrities compete to headline at Legends Golf Tournament
Pacific University could very well see fake tans and tiger blood sometime in its future. After hearing about the success of last year’s Pacific University Legends Golf Classic two celebrities, Nicole Polizzi, a.k.a. Snooki from the “Jersey Shore,” and Charlie … Continued
Pacific student to face double for actor Neil Patrick Harris
The forthcoming movie adaptation of popular television series “How I Met Your Mother” will soon be receiving a little Boxer Spirit. Senior Justin Dean has been selected to be a face double for Neil Patrick Harris. “This whole thing was … Continued
Professor’s arsenal of bribery expands to include booze
Philosophy Professor David Boersema said he would follow the lead of other faculty members and result to bribes to get students to enroll in his classes. “Chris Wilkes serves his students tea and cake,” said Boersema, “And I have to … Continued
Football team enters new scooter regime
What was once recreation for few will soon be required of Pacific’s football team. The commonly seen Razor Scooters being ridden by some Boxers are required of the whole team at the start of April. “We are hopeful that the … Continued
Zombies: ‘Hide yo kids, hide yo wife’
Something nefarious has brewed in the blood of Pacific University students. Early eyewitness accounts tell of a new outbreak of the T-4 zombie virus on the Forest Grove undergraduate campus. Pacific’s resident zombie expert David DeMoss has studied and taught … Continued
Campus internet down after UIS forgets to reset password, Pacific goes back to dial-up
All broadband internet traffic at Pacific University came to a screeching halt Thursday, as UIS staff members forgot to renew its set-to-expire password and became locked out of its own system indefinitely. The lockout, which occurred at about 7 a.m., … Continued
New name oddly accurate for PU science campus: cuts out excess fat in title
With the restructuring of the College of Arts and Sciences, a name change will also occur, Pacific University President Lesley Hallick announced Caturday. Starting next year, the college will be known as the “College of Sciences, etc.” This change is … Continued